So Rona Berg is an exceptionally fabulous lady authoress and beauty expert whom I met some years back at the Pulpwood Queen’s Book Club’s Girlfriend Weekend, a yearly event in East Texas where tons of authors and readers gather, adorn themselves with sparkle and leopard print, and talk about literary matters when not attending Hair Balls or eating barbecue. It’s just the kind of festival where you’d incongruously meet a beauty expert like Rona, former beauty editor of The New York Times Magazine and bestselling author of Beauty: The New Basics and Fast Beauty: 1000 Quick Fixes, and end up dancing in a honkytonk with her and a few other ne’er-do-wells in the wee hours of the morning.
But that’s a whole other story.
So Rona, are you a fan of mermaids?
I have always been drawn to mermaids, they are the most elegant mutts in the world.
What do you think the allure of mermaids is?
Mermaids have a twinkly, incandescent quality–it’s the sparkle in their scales, the luminescent skin, the glossy hair, and the gleam in their eyes. Obviously, they need to really shine in order to find each other down in the deep, but it is incredibly seductive.
How can regular humans and/or secret mermaids acquire that mermaid allure?
Good skincare, of course, to get that glow! And makeup! A luminizer, applied on the cheekbones and under the arch of the brows. An eyeshadow palette with some shimmer. Waterproof mascara! And from the inside, a joie de vire, and I’d like to say healthy living, but who knows what really goes on down there.
Can you recommend any specific products you find especially mermaidly?
Living Luminizer by RMS Beauty, Mystikol Eyeliner + Highlighter (Malachite) by Jane Iredale, Satin Sheets Eye Shadow by HoneyBee Gardens.
What about accessories?
Rhinestones come to mind, but that would be too trashy. I think it would have to be opals, they have an iridescence and an inner life to them. Opals are very mysterious and deep, like mermaids.
What can a human mermaid do to protect her skin and hair from these harsh earthly elements? Sunscreen, everyday, like brushing your teeth. Botanical based moisturizer–look for something ocean-harvested, with seaweed or algae extracts, it tightens up the skin and softens any tiny lines. And apply leave-in conditioner to the hair, if it’s dry.
How does an aspiring mermaid keep herself in check when there’s so much glitter and shimmer about?
Resist.
Do you have any other advice for aspiring mermaids?
That’s quite enough!
I am a mermaid 
Of course the lovely Rona would have excellent tips! Now I want to read about opals….